Mature love vs. Romantic Love

What a great talk by Elder Boyd K. Packer that I had the opportunity to read. Wow…this explains so much the difference about how the world looks at marriage, and how we look at celestial marriage. Here is a little bit of the talk: “And if you suppose that the full-blown rapture of young romantic love is the sum of the possibilities which spring from the fountains of life, you have not yet lived to see the devotion and the comfort of longtime married love. Married couples are tried by temptation, misunderstandings, separation, financial problems, family crises, illness; and all the while love grows stronger, the mature love enjoys a bliss not even imagined by newlyweds. True love requires a mutual respect and that the couple reserve until after the marriage the sharing of that affection which unlocks those sacred powers in that fountain of life. It means avoiding pre-marriage situations in which physical desire might take control. Courtship is a time to measure integrity, moral strength, and worthiness. The invitation, “If you love me, you will let me,” exposes a major flaw in character. It deserves the reply: “If you really loved me, you would never ask me to transgress. If you understood the gospel, you couldn’t!” Here is my post on the topic: I appreciated the talk by Elder Boyd K. Packer and his teachings about true mature love, and that mature love is much different from the world’s expectations of love or romantic love. The world wants us to think that love is based on affection and a feeling, but we were taught that love is mutual respect. Marriages go through many hardships and there has to be a devotion to one another. This concept is taught from the very starts of the relationship as the couple keeps the commandment of Chastity. They make devotion to each other and to the Lord. These strengths both the relationship and the future of the marriage, also within the marriage when the Law is continually kept, the blessing continue to come. November 5, 2014

Provident Living Project: Money Management

Who likes to save money? Ok not this gal, it’s not my favorite thing to do, I much rather buy a new pair of boots, go on a trip, or take the family out for dinner and give myself a break. But in this assignment as well as many from last year in the Pathways we learned why money management is important, and it is also a commandment. The following are my posts with my goals and my experiences. October 18: Money Management. I want to set the goal to look at what I am spending at the end of everyday and at the end of every week. At the end of the month when I look back at my account it seems like the money has just gone to un-needed things. One of my goals from last week that I also want to carry forward is not eating out as I realize that I spend and increasing amount on food. I think that by watching what I am spending each week, I will be able to set a realistic budget for my self. I also know that if I have to actually look and analyze my spending I will want to spend less and save more. October 23rd: Wow this week I caught myself early on spending money picking up lunch because I did not remember to pack a lunch. I quickly got this under control and packed lunch from home. I can easily spend 50 dollars a week doing this, and that could be $200 I could put away each month to pay bills or put in my savings. I think that taking the time to look at my spending daily helps me recognize my spending patterns, and where I need to make changes. One other thought was that I should stop carrying my debt card and only carry cash, something to think about. October 28th: Well since my last post things got a little out of control. I thought I was doing a good job budgeting my money usage, but quick little stops for this and that and also having to make some purchases for a recent YW activity made it a little tougher to stay on budget. I will get reimbursed for church expenses, but this does deduct from my current budget for the time being. My husband has talked about not carrying our debit cards and paying with cash only, after this week this does not seem like a bad idea. October 31st: 1) What did you learn throughout the course of this project? I think that the biggest thing I learned is that I spend a lot of money eating out or picking up dinner when I am running late. I also realized that using my debit card makes it very easy to make purchases without thinking about how much you really are spending. I think after talking with my husband we need to sit down and create a budget together that consists of using cash only or to carry cash only, much like the Dave Ramsey financial freedom teaches. 2) How would you adjust the project in the future? I want to prepare a menu for the month of meals so that when I grocery shop I can be better at only purchasing food that I will be need to prepare those meals for the next 2 weeks. Having a menu that spans over a month will make it easier to have prep work done and avoid stopping to pick up dinner because I am running late or do not have enough time to prepare dinner. Also as I mentioned above I will carry only cash to help stop against impulse buying or being tempted to stop and pick up dinner. 3) What are your goals for maintaining provident living habits? My first goal is to sit down and create a budget with my husband who includes putting away additional money into savings for emergencies, and extra payments to help pay off loans for cars and home. I really think the thing that is going to help me be more provident is the meal planning and prep work. This will take a little extra time once a week, but well worth the cost savings. 4) How can this specific habit bless your life and the lives of your friends and family members? This can bless my life by being financially free from the burden of owing money and the potential for coming into a financial nightmare if I was to loose my job or be injured and unable to work. This will also bless me by following the commandments of the Lord and the Prophets who have asked us to be debt free, and live provident; when we are obedient the Lord will bless us in many ways. I feel like I keep beating my head against the wall expecting a different result. I keep having this lessen about Money Management. I know that we need to sit down and take the time to create a formal budget for our family so we can start building a good savings for emergencies. When Marco lost his job when we were first married we were debt free, and had a good savings. This was such a blessing to our family and I know that the Lord blessed us in many ways for being obedient to the commandment of living providently. We were able to pay our bills including COBRA insurance of over 600 dollars a month and pay for hospital bills from the birth of our daughter Tieran. Just a year and a half later we moved into our current home. There are some great tools and advice for anyone who wants to learn how to get out of debt or why we should live debt free. You can go to here and read “One for the Money” https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/33293_eng.pdf

Covenants and Ordinances

I think this weeks topic is going to be one of my favorites as I am so grateful for my Celestial Marriage to my AMAZING husband Marco and the blessings of the union that gave me 4 just as AMAZING children. I also think I have been thinking about this a ton this week with the passing of by 39th birthday. When I look back 15 years ago…I never thought I could be blessed so much.

I read a talk by Elder Bruce C. Hafen: “Covenant Marriage” and this really hit home with me about how it’s more important to have a covenant marriage instead of the world’s idea that marriage is a Contractual Marriage. If we all understood and were joined with a covenant marriage I believe that we would all try a little harder and not as quick to give up and separate or divorce. Here is a little from that talk: “Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will. Jesus taught about contractual attitudes when he described the “hireling,” who performs his conditional promise of care only when he receives something in return. When the hireling “seeth the wolf coming,” he “leaveth the sheep, and fleeth … because he … careth not for the sheep.” By contrast, the Savior said, “I am the good shepherd, … and I lay down my life for the sheep.” Many people today marry as hirelings. And when the wolf comes, they flee. This idea is wrong. It curses the earth, turning parents’ hearts away from their children and from each other.” In my discussion board here is what I posted: Covenant Marriage vs. Contractual Marriage I really enjoyed Elder Bruce C. Hafens talk entitled "Covenant Marriage." I know that this should have been very obvious, but he brings up some great points, some I do joke with my husband about frequently. When we are sealed in the temple to our spouse we are making a covenant to be with them in this life and the next, we make sacred covenants between each other and God, and this is more than a legal binding contract. I often joke “You are stuck with me forever and an eternity", but that is the difference in our beliefs, it’s more than keeping or breaking a contract and moving on to look for someone else. Marriage is not easy, but it was also nice to read about the "wolves" that help attack our marriages and attempt to shake our covenant with each other and God. We are not alone in our joys, and in our struggles, everyone is victim to the "wolves" its all about how you deal with them. Do you have a gun to shut them down, or do you have a cap gun? Want to read this talk? You can go to: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/10/covenant-marriage?lang=eng October 22, 2014

Provident Living Project: Healthy Eating & Exercise

Every 2 weeks we will be given a “living project” that we will be assigned to actively participate in and report how we did. This week is eating healthy and exercise. Although the eating healthy part won’t be too bad, the exercise part is going to be the killer! I recently ran a 5k and herniated another disc in my back, and after seeing the Neurosurgeon I have been informed that all running or impact exercise or sports are no longer a possibility for me. So I am going to be posting all my updates for you to read even though they are from a week ago, I will catch you up. October 3, 2014: I will be organizing my week with a healthy meal schedule which I will plan out on Saturday each week. I will select healthy meal ideas for myself and my family. This will be somewhat of a challenge for me as I usually figure out meals each day on my driving home from work. I also tend to not make enough food for lunch the following day, and I find myself eating out quite often, and my food selections are not the healthiest. By doing this I will be eating healthier and will have more time to spend with my family each night. I am currently having some back issues after running a 5K and will possibly be having some surgery in the near future. However I would like to still stay active and I would like to try and walk with my kids for at least 15 minutes each night if I am not having any problems. October 8, 2014: I actually did it. I have planned a meal for my children every day, and we have not eaten out for 4 days (except for an ice cream for FHE) and I have even let them help me with food prep. I have decreased snacks, and am trying to have fruit and water at snack times. I have packed my lunch, but have found that I do not eat breakfast, and have picked up something on my way to work. I need to keep trying with this part of my meal planning. I have not gone a full walk with my children, but I have spent time outside with them helping them ride bikes, and helping them to learn how to do cartwheels in the backyard. I am excited that it has been successful so far. October 15, 2014: Still going strong with meal planning. We have eaten at home everyday except today was not the healthiest, I had church meetings and it was Kraft macaroni and cheese night. Before my meetings I played outside with the kids, helped the ride bikes, chased my one year old around the lawn, and helped watch the neighbor girl. I think the thing I am getting from this the most is getting out and being active with my kids, cooking with them and making memories. October 17, 2014: 1) What did you learn throughout the course of this project? I learned quite a few things from this eating better and exercise project. The first thing I learned is that I am not a morning person, second that exercise is become even harder for me now that I am experiencing pain and a herniated disc and even simple walks are difficult, third I have learned was that eating right and meal planning takes organization and time, and lastly I need more sleep than I am getting right now. 2) How would you adjust the project in the future? I still do not have the balance down, and exercise is not going to get better in the short term. I think that I am going to try and change to trying to do exercise at night with my children, and wake up in the mornings to do homework. My thought is that I might be able to get more quality sleep if I reverse the two. In regards to the meal planning, I want to try to create a meal plan during the week for the following week, so that I can go grocery shopping on Friday or Saturday, so I have every thing I need for the week. This should help cut down on eating out, as I have found that most of the time I eat out it’s due to not being prepared. 3) What are your goals for maintaining provident living habits? I am not looking to solve all my health issues and problems all at once. But I do want to continue to have the goal to eat at home primarily as this will help financially and as well as help with good nutrition. I think that I want to try and incorporate my children into the meal planning, maybe given them a day each week that they get to pick the meal. This will help teach them good eating habits, and also help them feel included and bring us closer as a family. The exercise thing will have to pan itself out after the resolution of my herniated disc, however I want to continue to be active by walking, taking the stairs and spending time playing outside with my children more. 4) How can this specific habit bless your life and the lives of your friends and family members? I think they will bless my life by being healthier, possibly losing some weight, financial benefits, and also bring us closer as a family. I also think that it will help strengthen my testimony of the word of wisdom. I want to run and not be faint Well although I did not get all that much exercise I think that I really enjoyed spending time with my children. The week seemed to be less stressful when I meal planned, and we got to have more family time by letting the little ones help out in the meals. I noticed that we spend more time talking, and less time trying to hurry the meals. What a blessing this has been to see how something so simple can bring blessings.

“Your body is a temple, a gift from God. You will be blessed as you care for your body.” –For the Strength of Youth

Gender and My Eternal Idenity

We have been studying” “The Family: A Proclamation to the Word” and this week we took a deeper look at who we are, and what our divine roles are in our families. I really struggle with wanting to be home more with my children, but also working outside the home. For now I get the privilege to do both, with the partnership of a loving spouse who works along side me to be equal partners in the raising of our children. One of the talks I read this week was: Elder D. Todd Christofferson: The Moral Force of Women. Here is a little bit of that talk: “A woman’s moral influence is nowhere more powerfully felt or more beneficially employed than in the home. There is no better setting for rearing the rising generation than the traditional family, where a father and a mother work in harmony to provide for, teach, and nurture their children. Where this ideal does not exist, people strive to duplicate its benefits as best they can in their particular circumstances. In all events, a mother can exert an influence unequaled by any other person in any other relationship. By the power of her example and teaching, her sons learn to respect womanhood and to incorporate discipline and high moral standards in their own lives. Her daughters learn to cultivate their own virtue and to stand up for what is right, again and again, however unpopular. A mother’s love and high expectations lead her children to act responsibly without excuses, to be serious about education and personal development, and to make ongoing contributions to the well-being of all around them.” Wow, who should ever be ashamed to say their job is being Mom!! The Family: Proclamation to the world tells us about the specific roles of a Mother and a Father: HUSBAND AND WIFE have a solemn responsibility to love and care for each other and for their children. “Children are a heritage of the Lord” (Psalm 127:3). Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live. Husbands and wives—mothers and fathers—will be held accountable before God for the discharge of these obligations. …By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners. Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation. Extended families should lend support when needed. What a great week this has been for learning my divine role as a mother and wife. I must admit there are some guilt feelings for not being home with my children more, but I know what I am doing the best for my family in this moment, and I can keep striving to be better. Mothers are essential to the family, and we are loved by our Father in Heaven. October 10, 2014

Back to School: My Institute Journey Fall 2014

Back to School: My Institute Journey Fall 2014 I have recently in the last year started attending BYU-I and life has been very busy. I am currently enrolled in an Institue class and they have asked that we create a blog and share the impressions and key information that has stood out to me. I hope that you have an opportunity to read through my posts, and get to learn a little for yourself, and if nothing more you will get a glimpse at what I have been learning. Our study for this semester shares insights about “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”

Do you want to read the Proclamation and learn more? https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation

we are so proud of ourselves. We made this little sign for Tieran's room. I am really amazed at how it turned out. So check it out.