Tuesday, December 9, 2014
What’s your Love Language? What’s your spouse’s Love Language?
This was a great lesson!! I got the opportunity to take a quiz to see what my “Love Language” is and Marco did the same. It’s funny after taking this quiz how you notice how you may have been showing your love in the “wrong language”. For instance one of my love languages is physical touch, when Marco’s is acts of service. So all this time I have been doing it my way, not his. This was a great opportunity to have my eyes opened, and find some great ideas to show Marco that I love him.
If you want to take the test with your husband go to:
http://www.5lovelanguages.com
Here are my posts and my experiences:
Love Languages
Over the next weeks I am going focus on my husband and showing my love for him using his love language which I believe is Acts of Service and receiving gifts. I know that one of the biggest things that make him feel loved is when I keep the house super clean and when our bedroom bed and clothes are put away. I am going to clean up the house and try and maintain its cleanliness to a higher level for the next 2 weeks. This will be extremely hard as we are currently under construction and 6 people living on one floor of a small home. When is comes to receiving gifts, money is tighter with the holidays around the corner, but I am going to leave him little notes of love and encouragement with a small little treat in his bag or lunch. I am also going to try and surprise him by going to his work to bring him dinner once a week during this period, because he does not get to have dinner with me during the week.
November 21, 2014:
Wow, I did not really understand how hard this would be and I am struggling a bit. This has really made me understand how much I assume that I make my spouse feel loved. Because our love languages are so different I find doing things for him that I would want and not what he would want. So I need to work on for the upcoming week to again attempt to show him love with his love languages.
December 1, 2014:
Well this week was a little better with using the Love Languages to show my spouse he is loved. But it was a very difficult week as my husband loves the house to be CLEAN. We have 4 children under age 5 and we both work full time, and what I have discovered is that I really dont like spending my spare time cleaning. This has been a work in progress, but I know the benefits outweight my dislike for cleaning or spending money on gifts.
December 5, 2014
1) What did you learn throughout the course of this project?
I really learned that I am trying to love my spouse in my own love language, and that it is not easy to to “show love” in their language. I found that it was easy slip back into using my personal love language and forgetting about his language. It helped me to understand some of the frustrations between us and why we might quarrel or not feel loved. That we really did not know all the ways each other felt loved.
2) How would you adjust the project in the future?
I think that I might take the test with my spouse every so often to see if our love languages change. What I noticed that my love language is not the same as when I in my 20’s. It would be interesting to see how this would turn out. Also I would like to talk take the time to talk with my spouse about how they felt with my efforts with trying to communicate my love in their love languages.
3) What are your goals for maintaining provident living habits?
Well my goal would be to continue to do this for the rest of my life. My relationship with my spouse is the most important and central to our family relationships. If he feels loved then my children will feel loved, and will see our examples, and learn from our successes and mistakes.
4) How can this specific habit bless your life and the lives of your friends and family members?
I know that this will bless our family with a happier spouse, thus a happier home. You can never have too much love, and with love it builds trust and faith in one another. This will help create a healthy relationship between myself and my spouse, and hopefully be an example to my children of how a good relationship is based on service not being served.
Happiness in Family Life & The Priesthood
There has been so much uproar from some members who believe that the Priesthood should be extended to the women of the Church? I have a testimony that God knows ALL and if the women were to have the Priesthood He would do so, but the Lord does not change with the times, to make individuals happy with there decisions, whether they be in righteousness or not. 1 Nephi 10:18 Man is not superior to women because they hold the Priesthood. One can not be without the other, we walk side by side in the gospel.
The following is my post on this very thing:
I really enjoyed the talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks about the Keys and Authority of the Priesthood, especially with all the recent problems with some women wanting the church to change God’s authority and grant them the Priesthood. The priesthood is an authority from God not a power over someone else not a superiority, but an authority. Linda Burton’s desire for each one of us to have a “greater desire to better understand the priesthood” is something we all need to do for ourselves. If we pray and ponder God will help each one of us to understand the importance of the Priesthood authority and help you gain a testimony that he has given the authority to men. Both men and women are essential to Gods plan, “The greatest power God has given to His sons cannot be exercised without the companionship of one of His daughters.”
November 19, 2014
Provident Living: Media Influence
The media that we watch and listen to can invite the Spirit or it can be an environment where the Spirit will not be able to dwell with us. The past year as I have served in the YW program, media influence is something that I have noticed and have made a goal to make sure I always have an environment where the Spirit can dwell.
This has been a topic that I have been working on over the last year from being involved with the YW program and Pathways. I want to continue to work on my goals that I have in place already...and I hope that is okay. I look at them as more than goals, because for my family they really should just be a way of life. Here are my goals:
1. Radio listening time in the car: LDS music/Christian music and or church talks (Mormon Channel)
2. Less time using media for entertainment for both my family and myself. Increased effort for formal scripture study as a family.
3. (A new goal) to bear my testimony to my children during the 2 weeks, and help them learn more formally what a testimony is, and help them understand and learn what they believe. I want to do this instead of letting my children fill extra time watching programs on the television.
November 8: Listening to only LDS/Church talks in the car is going well, I am actually enjoying the talks and programs on the Mormon Channel. Because I have been so busy with reading for my other classes my media time has basically only been about 2 hours total for one week. I have been doing scripture study with my children, however I need to get better about actually bearing my testimony to them following scripture study.
November 12, 2014: My plan is still going well but I think some of it is that I am just too busy to do anything outside of work, family, and school. I am still listening to The Mormon Channel in the car on my way to work and really enjoying it but do miss my talk radio (Glenn Beck). Scripture study is doing good with the children, but also I must admit it is because they are excited about doing it, and they often have to remind me. I love to hear there excitement as we read about Nephi being bound by his brothers, an the Lord helping him loosen the ropes. It was a good lessen to teach them that God does listen and help us with our struggles and needs. I still need to continue improving on sharing my testimony with my children.
November 14, 2014:
1) What did you learn throughout the course of this project?
I learned that I watch and use media more than I thought I did, I can not seem to remember a time without surfing Facebook on my phone, and watching television to fill my spare time. I have learned that listening to uplifting music (instead of political radio) and reading the scriptures with my children have made me a happier mom and a happier family. There is still craziness, screaming, and times I want to pull my hair out, but I want to be more patient, loving, and especially I want to listen. I have really discovered that I have amazing children, with amazing testimonies. I am blessed.
2) How would you adjust the project in the future?
I had been listening to Mormon radio/Sunday Music prior to this assignment, but I think the biggest thing I want to strive to do is bear my testimony of these things to my children. Not only should I be an example to them, but I should tell them why.
3) What are your goals for maintaining provident living habits?
I want to continue with managing my media influences, but I think my next goal would be to look at who much media time my children have. I did realize that they have been using computers and television more when I am studying and trying to complete my homework. I need to get them to use the time to do better activities.
4) How can this specific habit bless your life and the lives of your friends and family members?
It will build my children’s testimonies, they will have a happier mother, I will have my “bucket” filled with good thoughts and counsel and we will be a much happier family. I think that the whole point of this activity for me was to spend more time with my children and build the faith of our family.
Mature love vs. Romantic Love
What a great talk by Elder Boyd K. Packer that I had the opportunity to read. Wow…this explains so much the difference about how the world looks at marriage, and how we look at celestial marriage.
Here is a little bit of the talk:
“And if you suppose that the full-blown rapture of young romantic love is the sum of the possibilities which spring from the fountains of life, you have not yet lived to see the devotion and the comfort of longtime married love. Married couples are tried by temptation, misunderstandings, separation, financial problems, family crises, illness; and all the while love grows stronger, the mature love enjoys a bliss not even imagined by newlyweds.
True love requires a mutual respect and that the couple reserve until after the marriage the sharing of that affection which unlocks those sacred powers in that fountain of life. It means avoiding pre-marriage situations in which physical desire might take control. Courtship is a time to measure integrity, moral strength, and worthiness. The invitation, “If you love me, you will let me,” exposes a major flaw in character. It deserves the reply: “If you really loved me, you would never ask me to transgress. If you understood the gospel, you couldn’t!”
Here is my post on the topic:
I appreciated the talk by Elder Boyd K. Packer and his teachings about true mature love, and that mature love is much different from the world’s expectations of love or romantic love. The world wants us to think that love is based on affection and a feeling, but we were taught that love is mutual respect. Marriages go through many hardships and there has to be a devotion to one another. This concept is taught from the very starts of the relationship as the couple keeps the commandment of Chastity. They make devotion to each other and to the Lord. These strengths both the relationship and the future of the marriage, also within the marriage when the Law is continually kept, the blessing continue to come.
November 5, 2014
Provident Living Project: Money Management
Who likes to save money? Ok not this gal, it’s not my favorite thing to do, I much rather buy a new pair of boots, go on a trip, or take the family out for dinner and give myself a break. But in this assignment as well as many from last year in the Pathways we learned why money management is important, and it is also a commandment.
The following are my posts with my goals and my experiences.
October 18: Money Management.
I want to set the goal to look at what I am spending at the end of everyday and at the end of every week. At the end of the month when I look back at my account it seems like the money has just gone to un-needed things. One of my goals from last week that I also want to carry forward is not eating out as I realize that I spend and increasing amount on food. I think that by watching what I am spending each week, I will be able to set a realistic budget for my self. I also know that if I have to actually look and analyze my spending I will want to spend less and save more.
October 23rd: Wow this week I caught myself early on spending money picking up lunch because I did not remember to pack a lunch. I quickly got this under control and packed lunch from home. I can easily spend 50 dollars a week doing this, and that could be $200 I could put away each month to pay bills or put in my savings. I think that taking the time to look at my spending daily helps me recognize my spending patterns, and where I need to make changes. One other thought was that I should stop carrying my debt card and only carry cash, something to think about.
October 28th: Well since my last post things got a little out of control. I thought I was doing a good job budgeting my money usage, but quick little stops for this and that and also having to make some purchases for a recent YW activity made it a little tougher to stay on budget. I will get reimbursed for church expenses, but this does deduct from my current budget for the time being. My husband has talked about not carrying our debit cards and paying with cash only, after this week this does not seem like a bad idea.
October 31st:
1) What did you learn throughout the course of this project?
I think that the biggest thing I learned is that I spend a lot of money eating out or picking up dinner when I am running late. I also realized that using my debit card makes it very easy to make purchases without thinking about how much you really are spending. I think after talking with my husband we need to sit down and create a budget together that consists of using cash only or to carry cash only, much like the Dave Ramsey financial freedom teaches.
2) How would you adjust the project in the future?
I want to prepare a menu for the month of meals so that when I grocery shop I can be better at only purchasing food that I will be need to prepare those meals for the next 2 weeks. Having a menu that spans over a month will make it easier to have prep work done and avoid stopping to pick up dinner because I am running late or do not have enough time to prepare dinner. Also as I mentioned above I will carry only cash to help stop against impulse buying or being tempted to stop and pick up dinner.
3) What are your goals for maintaining provident living habits?
My first goal is to sit down and create a budget with my husband who includes putting away additional money into savings for emergencies, and extra payments to help pay off loans for cars and home. I really think the thing that is going to help me be more provident is the meal planning and prep work. This will take a little extra time once a week, but well worth the cost savings.
4) How can this specific habit bless your life and the lives of your friends and family members?
This can bless my life by being financially free from the burden of owing money and the potential for coming into a financial nightmare if I was to loose my job or be injured and unable to work. This will also bless me by following the commandments of the Lord and the Prophets who have asked us to be debt free, and live provident; when we are obedient the Lord will bless us in many ways.
I feel like I keep beating my head against the wall expecting a different result. I keep having this lessen about Money Management. I know that we need to sit down and take the time to create a formal budget for our family so we can start building a good savings for emergencies. When Marco lost his job when we were first married we were debt free, and had a good savings. This was such a blessing to our family and I know that the Lord blessed us in many ways for being obedient to the commandment of living providently. We were able to pay our bills including COBRA insurance of over 600 dollars a month and pay for hospital bills from the birth of our daughter Tieran. Just a year and a half later we moved into our current home.
There are some great tools and advice for anyone who wants to learn how to get out of debt or why we should live debt free. You can go to here and read “One for the Money”
https://www.lds.org/bc/content/shared/content/english/pdf/language-materials/33293_eng.pdf
Covenants and Ordinances
I think this weeks topic is going to be one of my favorites as I am so grateful for my Celestial Marriage to my AMAZING husband Marco and the blessings of the union that gave me 4 just as AMAZING children. I also think I have been thinking about this a ton this week with the passing of by 39th birthday. When I look back 15 years ago…I never thought I could be blessed so much.
I read a talk by Elder Bruce C. Hafen: “Covenant Marriage” and this really hit home with me about how it’s more important to have a covenant marriage instead of the world’s idea that marriage is a Contractual Marriage. If we all understood and were joined with a covenant marriage I believe that we would all try a little harder and not as quick to give up and separate or divorce. Here is a little from that talk:
“Marriage is by nature a covenant, not just a private contract one may cancel at will. Jesus taught about contractual attitudes when he described the “hireling,” who performs his conditional promise of care only when he receives something in return. When the hireling “seeth the wolf coming,” he “leaveth the sheep, and fleeth … because he … careth not for the sheep.” By contrast, the Savior said, “I am the good shepherd, … and I lay down my life for the sheep.” Many people today marry as hirelings. And when the wolf comes, they flee. This idea is wrong. It curses the earth, turning parents’ hearts away from their children and from each other.”
In my discussion board here is what I posted:
Covenant Marriage vs. Contractual Marriage
I really enjoyed Elder Bruce C. Hafens talk entitled "Covenant Marriage." I know that this should have been very obvious, but he brings up some great points, some I do joke with my husband about frequently. When we are sealed in the temple to our spouse we are making a covenant to be with them in this life and the next, we make sacred covenants between each other and God, and this is more than a legal binding contract. I often joke “You are stuck with me forever and an eternity", but that is the difference in our beliefs, it’s more than keeping or breaking a contract and moving on to look for someone else. Marriage is not easy, but it was also nice to read about the "wolves" that help attack our marriages and attempt to shake our covenant with each other and God. We are not alone in our joys, and in our struggles, everyone is victim to the "wolves" its all about how you deal with them. Do you have a gun to shut them down, or do you have a cap gun?
Want to read this talk? You can go to:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1996/10/covenant-marriage?lang=eng
October 22, 2014
Provident Living Project: Healthy Eating & Exercise
Every 2 weeks we will be given a “living project” that we will be assigned to actively participate in and report how we did. This week is eating healthy and exercise. Although the eating healthy part won’t be too bad, the exercise part is going to be the killer! I recently ran a 5k and herniated another disc in my back, and after seeing the Neurosurgeon I have been informed that all running or impact exercise or sports are no longer a possibility for me. So I am going to be posting all my updates for you to read even though they are from a week ago, I will catch you up.
October 3, 2014: I will be organizing my week with a healthy meal schedule which I will plan out on Saturday each week. I will select healthy meal ideas for myself and my family. This will be somewhat of a challenge for me as I usually figure out meals each day on my driving home from work. I also tend to not make enough food for lunch the following day, and I find myself eating out quite often, and my food selections are not the healthiest. By doing this I will be eating healthier and will have more time to spend with my family each night. I am currently having some back issues after running a 5K and will possibly be having some surgery in the near future. However I would like to still stay active and I would like to try and walk with my kids for at least 15 minutes each night if I am not having any problems.
October 8, 2014: I actually did it. I have planned a meal for my children every day, and we have not eaten out for 4 days (except for an ice cream for FHE) and I have even let them help me with food prep. I have decreased snacks, and am trying to have fruit and water at snack times. I have packed my lunch, but have found that I do not eat breakfast, and have picked up something on my way to work. I need to keep trying with this part of my meal planning. I have not gone a full walk with my children, but I have spent time outside with them helping them ride bikes, and helping them to learn how to do cartwheels in the backyard. I am excited that it has been successful so far.
October 15, 2014: Still going strong with meal planning. We have eaten at home everyday except today was not the healthiest, I had church meetings and it was Kraft macaroni and cheese night. Before my meetings I played outside with the kids, helped the ride bikes, chased my one year old around the lawn, and helped watch the neighbor girl. I think the thing I am getting from this the most is getting out and being active with my kids, cooking with them and making memories.
October 17, 2014:
1) What did you learn throughout the course of this project?
I learned quite a few things from this eating better and exercise project. The first thing I learned is that I am not a morning person, second that exercise is become even harder for me now that I am experiencing pain and a herniated disc and even simple walks are difficult, third I have learned was that eating right and meal planning takes organization and time, and lastly I need more sleep than I am getting right now.
2) How would you adjust the project in the future?
I still do not have the balance down, and exercise is not going to get better in the short term. I think that I am going to try and change to trying to do exercise at night with my children, and wake up in the mornings to do homework. My thought is that I might be able to get more quality sleep if I reverse the two. In regards to the meal planning, I want to try to create a meal plan during the week for the following week, so that I can go grocery shopping on Friday or Saturday, so I have every thing I need for the week. This should help cut down on eating out, as I have found that most of the time I eat out it’s due to not being prepared.
3) What are your goals for maintaining provident living habits?
I am not looking to solve all my health issues and problems all at once. But I do want to continue to have the goal to eat at home primarily as this will help financially and as well as help with good nutrition. I think that I want to try and incorporate my children into the meal planning, maybe given them a day each week that they get to pick the meal. This will help teach them good eating habits, and also help them feel included and bring us closer as a family. The exercise thing will have to pan itself out after the resolution of my herniated disc, however I want to continue to be active by walking, taking the stairs and spending time playing outside with my children more.
4) How can this specific habit bless your life and the lives of your friends and family members?
I think they will bless my life by being healthier, possibly losing some weight, financial benefits, and also bring us closer as a family. I also think that it will help strengthen my testimony of the word of wisdom. I want to run and not be faint
Well although I did not get all that much exercise I think that I really enjoyed spending time with my children. The week seemed to be less stressful when I meal planned, and we got to have more family time by letting the little ones help out in the meals. I noticed that we spend more time talking, and less time trying to hurry the meals. What a blessing this has been to see how something so simple can bring blessings.
“Your body is a temple, a gift from God. You will be blessed as you care for your body.”
–For the Strength of Youth
Gender and My Eternal Idenity
Back to School: My Institute Journey Fall 2014
Back to School: My Institute Journey Fall 2014
I have recently in the last year started attending BYU-I and life has been very busy. I am currently enrolled in an Institue class and they have asked that we create a blog and share the impressions and key information that has stood out to me. I hope that you have an opportunity to read through my posts, and get to learn a little for yourself, and if nothing more you will get a glimpse at what I have been learning. Our study for this semester shares insights about “The Family: A Proclamation to the World”
Do you want to read the Proclamation and learn more?
https://www.lds.org/topics/family-proclamation
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)